Speaking of office dumping, we had a dumper at my office who refused to flush her daily massive shits. Like clockwork, her bloated logs would appear in one of the women's stall toilets about 4 p.m. every day. PIty the fool who picked that stall. Not only were the logs so tractor-trailer wide that it was traumatizing to imagine they were shaped by a woman's bowels, but they smelled. Really bad. I learned this the hard way when I tried to be the good bathroom samaritan. I spotted the dump and decided to flush the toilet to spare the others. I stepped into the stall and nearly gagged from the fumes. After the violent sensory attack, I vowed to put an end to our mystery dumper. I walked back into the office and told every female about it. "Hey, have you noticed the massive shits that are appearing in our toilets every day? Like, hello! Flush it!" I hoped the dumping fame-seeker would get the message - no matter how gloriously large, her shits were not wanted in these parts.
From my cubeicle, I had a pretty good view of the bathroom. After a few weeks of deduction, I settled on an obese woman who worked in another department and who actually wasn't supposed to be using our bathroom. She was coming into our shiny office from the shipping and receiving warehouse to make her mark. I had to revise my defense strategy. Maybe a sign would work, taped to her favorite shitting stall - "Please flush yer big craps, lady!"
The bad economy saved us in the end. Her department got consolidated and moved to another facility, and the big floaters were never to be seen again.
- CLF
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3 comments:
I think it was that guy name Suli you worked with.
I love this line "After a few weeks of deduction, I settled on an obese woman who worked in another department and who actually wasn't supposed to be using our bathroom." Have you read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery Crapper"? If not you should. It's a gas.
-Your co-co-author and buddy in poo!
i saw yer website on erica's computer and it reminded me of this site i came across a bit ago. i found after a google search, it
seems to not really be updated but i though you may be interested.
http://newyork.worstplacestotakeadump.com/
and if that crapper lady is true i know thats gross cause at my office there are often dumps in all the stalls in the guys room. pretty nasty
sam
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