Holding It In

A few weeks ago, a split second after AB asked if I needed the bathroom for anything and I replied "no", I was overcome with an overwhelming urge to use the Krapper. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Like hot not yet finished baking bricks. It happened when I was checking my e-mail, like always. I heard AB get in the shower and I prayed that he be quick. AB is pretty quick but not that quick. I felt like an ass having said no to his polite inquiry and I really didn't want to bang on the door and ask him to hurry up. Really, in retrospect, I should have run downstairs to the bar and asked them to use their Krapper. Instead, I walked around the apartment trying to convince my body that I was heading to toward the Krapper for relief, it allowed itself to be tricked a few times. I was sweating and doing a little dance. I almost developed a faith in god so I would have someone to pray too. I heard AB get out of the shower, he was singing a little song to himself, puttering around..I was sure Krap was going to start sliding down my leg at any moment..finally AB emerged wrapped in a towel and I rushed in and let loose a torrent of Krap that I thought was going to plug up the sewers all the way from our house to the Greenpoint treatment facility. There should be a word for this kind of relief, our language is inadequate, it was almost spiritual. I had to plunge the Krapper to get it all down....

-JR